User Profile

Well how can anyone who hasn't died yet be able to really tell you about them self. I guess you could call me a little crazy, or some might say stupid. Hey what ever works for you i guess. I grew up like most people these day, I a broken heart. My mom never really loved my farther, my farther really loved my mother. My brother and i wear allways close( not really anymore he just seamed to get to much of a life for me) My sister was never really close to me( the only time i can remember us huging was when we found her dead cat). I can't really talk to my mother, i'm not sure if i ever will. I am scared of my farther. I don't ever excpect to get married, yet i excpect to fall in love but runaway from it. I'm not sure i will ever be able to get over that. I cry when i look at old photos because i look happy and i can't remember when i was last truly happy. Some people seam to bring out the best in me, i try to hang out with them but some just don't like to hang with me. Some times i just want it all to end and then i remember that if that happened i could lose the only chance of happeness that i had. I now nothing but what i see in my mind. I can pichure so many thing in my mind. People say i have a sick mind. I think i have a sick mind. i have very little self confidence. i just want to fell wanted/ needed. I try not to expect much from my self. I find that showingtrue emotions just gets you stabed in the back. I don't think i could ever tell one person verything. I just want to be able to feel. I aways ramble on about thingsthat make no scnce. i can't spell. I can think of so manythings that could be doe but don't think i ould ever do them. i am afraid to cry from the fear that i won't be able to stop. I don't know how to deal with my stress. i wish i did. somanytimes in one day i wish i was someone esle. I could never do the one thing i really wanted to do.i change how i look outside in hopes to change the person within. i sdon't no if i lie so people would care or if i am really me.i feel ugly but a told i am not. i feel alone thou i am allways around others. i feel unable to speak when needed. I feel that the uncertiness about my self is only in my self. My worst fault is in my faults. I tend not to make much scence. I just want..... well if i knew that i would be one step closer to solving my lifes puzzle. Nice to talk/type to someone who won't talk/type back thanks.